When It Works - Revised

Supportive, loving, nurturing, thoughtful, respectful, this is my mother-in-law in just a few words.

If there was an award for best mother-in-law, I would nominate mine a million times over. From the beginning, she has embraced me as her very own daughter. She lives thousands of miles away so I treasure our time together. As a working mother of three, I look to her for perspective and guidance. She always lends an ear and offers words of encouragement & wisdom. I admire her commitment to weekly Skype check-ins, and value the connection she has created and maintains with my sons despite our distance. I never witnessed a successful marriage and the accompanying MIL & DIL dynamics. My parents married when I was 4 and divorced when I was 12. On the contrary, my husband’s parents celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary last year. My husband is the eldest of three, the only male, and the only married sibling.

Shortly after we were married, my mother-in-law told me that calling her Mrs. Lovejoy was too formal, that I was welcome to call her Mom but she would understand if I didn’t want to since I already had a mother. She said that I could call her Mom Lovejoy or whatever felt comfortable to me. That brief conversation illustrated her respect for my feelings, my decisions, and my family. It showed me that she understood her role in my life and my marriage. Her honesty and openness created an environment for positive exchanges and mutual love & respect.

Don’t get me wrong, our relationship is not always rainbows and butterflies. However, the positives far outweigh the negatives. In the rare instance when my mother-in-law & I have had a disagreement, my husband has stood behind me 100%. He listens to my point of view, provides constructive feedback, and even offers to speak to his mother on my behalf. I believe this is so very essential in a marriage, and important in having a successful relationship with in laws.

I consider myself fortunate to have found the love of my life, my best friend, and my soul mate. I am even more fortunate to have such a loving relationship with his mother, my MIL. The love that my mother-in-law shows my family and I is truly an inspiration. She has set a wonderful example and I hope to follow in her footsteps as an exceptional mother, wife, and one day grandmother!

A. Lovejoy – Orlando, FL.