The MIL Chronicles
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The Most Important Thing to Remember When Facing Adversity Outside the Home

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Simply put…Each Other. It’s so easy to focus on the person that seems to be causing so much angst and discord within your relationship. But when you focus on someone outside of your marriage, you give that person unnecessary power. Power to influence the happiness inside your protected home and “Circle of Trust”. As I mention in my blog titled “When You Marry Him, You Marry All of Us”, 25% of divorced couples attribute part of the reason for the divorce to in laws. This blows my mind every time I think about it. Yet it’s a reality for some couples.

It’s hard not to let feelings of resentment and frustration over cloud the bigger picture. For me I was disappointed in my husband. He had let me down. But when I took a moment to really think about it, I realized we were just fine. Meaning we didn’t have any marital issues between the two of us. We were letting someone outside of our home influence how we operated inside our home. One person, my MIL, would come around and instantly be able to cause everyone in our home to feel uncomfortable before, during, and after her visit. It became something neither one of us wanted to deal with. I would get so angry with my husband because I couldn’t understand his seemingly lack of understanding that I would forget that “we” are what matters not only for each other, but also for our son. The best victory after all is said and done, is a happy, loving and strong marriage that stands the test of time. The stronger the relationship, the less any one person or thing can penetrate the happiness and connectedness of what God has joined together.

So even when all you want to do is wallow in the anger and take it out on your spouse, you shouldn’t. Instead, try to remember the aspects of your spouse that you love the most, and what made you fall in love in the first place. Change the subject and remember how good it feels to laugh together, to be yourselves with each other as best friends. Remember to show each other that your relationship is #1. Sometimes that’s all it takes, remembering and focusing on one another.

 

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