The MIL Chronicles
The MIL Chronicles
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Tag Archives: Wife

Thicker Than Blood……In God’s Eyes

To the naked eye, and in literal terms, blood is thicker than water. And in most situations, I would agree with the phrase. But when referring to two married adults, is this the case? We’ve all been told at some point in our lives that blood IS thicker than water. That is, your family, your blood, should always come first. You never turn your back on your family. Yet at times family can hurt you more deeply than friends, leaving you to wonder who needs enemies with family members like mine. And sometimes your friends are there for you, and more supportive of you than your own family. Even Oprah has said that Gail, her well-known best friend, is the mother she never had and the sister she always wanted. On the flip side, there’s nothing like having a sister or brother, or another member of your family that knows you and allows you to be yourself. The fellowship and unconditional love and trust is like no other. But when your family doesn’t accept who you’ve chosen as your spouse, and simply refuses to trust your decision, and/or respect your relationship, what do you do? How do you move forward? I remember seeing an episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey and hearing Teresa Guidice yell to her brother, “Be a man and stick with your blood!” She wanted him to protect and defend her, his sister, and not his own wife. He was somehow weak and ultimately wrong for “choosing” to stand by his wife’s side. It makes me wonder, when put in the situation of having to choose between your spouse and your family, what’s the right choice? It’s an understandably difficult situation since choosing your spouse can mean losing more than one member of your family. … Continue reading

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Therefore Shall a Man Leave His Father and His Mother…

In the animal kingdom, though it varies by species, a mother releases her young into the wild as soon as they’re done nursing, learning how to hunt, and have been given the necessary tools to survive. The mother trusts that she’s done her job in preparing her young, and seems to inherently know that she must let go and is easily able to do so. The young grow to procreate and form their own families. So why in the human species does there seem to be such difficulty giving in to this rite of passage? Do animals in their most natural environment have it wrong? “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife; and they shall be one flesh.” Genesis chapter two verse twenty-four describes the biblical interpretation of a man’s rite of passage as he enters into marriage. Interestingly, the biblical command to leave is given to men. However, veteran marriage counselors and authors of “Restoring the Christian Family”, John & Paula Sanford, explain that far more often they find men rather than women unable to do so. It makes me wonder why this is the case, and what is it about the relationship between a mother and son that creates this inability to “cut the cord”? According to Bill Lawrence, Senior Professor Emeritus of Pastoral Ministries, and Adjunct Professor of Doctor of Ministry Studies at Dallas Theological Seminary, marriage demands a commitment of the deepest nature because it requires a total identification between husband and wife. And before this identification can take place, there must be a separation from other relationships that have been given identification in the past. To leave means that both people must change the way they relate to their parents. It doesn’t mean that we cease … Continue reading

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It’s amazing how people come into your life even when only for a short moment. I can’t remember how I began talking to the wonderful woman I met at Pottery Barn Kids. I was obviously visibly upset, and probably told her I was there to clear my mind of my mother-in-law issues. We immediately bonded and connected and began to share our stories. It’s mind-blowing how we had similar experiences and could immediately relate to one another despite having never met before that day. As she put it, “Honey, I understand”. It had taken her husband three years and three children to “get it”. We ended up embracing, and really feeling a sisterly bond despite not knowing each other, and having conversed only for a few moments. Her story and knowing that I wasn’t alone or crazy for having the feelings I had, really gave me the comfort and support I needed to go on with my day. Having this, and other like experiences is how The MIL Chronicles was born. I know a lot of women need a place where they can find comfort and a wider support system; where they have an outlet. The MIL Chronicles is that therapeutic outlet. It’s a place where girlfriends, fiance’s, and daughter-in-laws everywhere can bond and find comfort and support, while discussing various topics surrounding one fundamental issue, the complicated threesome between a husband, wife, and the “MIL”.  I invite all women to comment and share their thoughts and experiences on this site. My goal is that by discussing this very real issue, the unhealthy dynamic, and dysfunctional cycle will start to be broken and healing will ultimately take place. And my hope is that through reading other’s stories, daughter-in-laws everywhere will get the therapeutic release they need with an audience that … Continue reading

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