The MIL Chronicles
The MIL Chronicles
    • Facebook
    • Twitter

Tag Archives: Single Mother-in-law

My Rite of Passage – A Husband’s Perspective

The makeup of my family seems normal from where I’m from, and I have the typical single mother story. I am the oldest son of 3 children on my mother’s side, and my mother became pregnant just before my father left for college in 1974. The issue was that she was 14 years old when she got pregnant with me, and my dad was 19. My mother met my father sometime before she went to high school. I never really asked her much about it, but as far as I could tell she loved him. She has told me that she was in love with my father, but I believe it was more so infatuation. My grandmother gave me most of the information about my father. She said that my father was the youngest of 14 children. I don’t think my parents had a very long relationship, as my mother was extremely young when she pursued my father. No one has ever opened up about it, but I think my mother may have led him to believe she was much older. My grandmother said that she didn’t blame my dad, because she knew how manipulative my mother could be, and that she was accustomed to getting her way. Obviously my mother kept the baby because I’m still here, and I know that she loved me. I’m sure abortion was never a question for her because she needed to feel loved. And her baby would always love her, as long as she was an involved mother. I was the first grandchild, and everyone showed my mom extra attention because she had a baby. I think my mom enjoyed the attention, and she at least had love from her child even if she no longer had a man. My grandmother said that … Continue reading

Tagged , , , ,
Views: 36949 Views

The Single MIL Syndrome

Has anyone ever asked themeslf, how many women do I know that have a successful Mother-in Law/Daughter-in-Law relationship? To be specific, by successful I mean a relationship where both sincerely love each other and feel not as in laws, but as immediate family. Unfortunately, I think most women would say they don’t know many married women with a successful Mother-in-law/Daughter-in-law relationship. There’s always the inevitable and dreaded MIL story or situation. Now ask yourself how many of those unsuccessful relationships involve single mother-in-laws? Sadly, I would predict it involves the majority of them. This is not to bash single mothers. However, I think there is a direct correlation between the breakdown of the family and what I call, “The Single MIL Syndrome”: an overly excessive social, emotional, and sometimes physical dependence towards one’s own adult son that hinders the relationship with any female suitor, or male companion of your own. From a biblical perspective, a man must “leave” his parents in order to have a successful marriage and become one with his wife. However, too often the breakdown of the family, and subsequently single mothers cleaving to their sons, disrupts the biblical foundation and responsibility of the sons to naturally leave their mothers. The son is then raised to believe it is his responsibility to emotionally, socially and sometimes financially support and protect his single mother as an adult. The continued “husband-like, and/or “child-like” relationship nurtures this sort of thinking. But fundamentally, this is not a son’s role or purpose. And it is crucial for both the mother and the son to understand this very fact in order for the son to be able to make the most important decision and commitment of his life, to be successfully married. If this rite of passage doesn’t take place, how can a … Continue reading

Tagged ,
Views: 35290 Views